Now Hiring: Robots

July 30, 2008

6:40 A.M My alarm goes off.

6:50 A.M I get out of bed, and wash up.

6:55 A.M I go grab the paper from my porch, and read some headline about some guy named Dr. Frank Nigel Stein. The article reads how he is on the brink of a breakthrough to give robots enough brains to be on par with humans. God, I hate robots.

7:45 A.M On the subway headed to work. Here comes a robot to ask me for my ticket. Big, grey, stupid, programmed for simple functions ‘cause its good for nothing else. God, I hate robots.

8:30 A.M A robot dressed as doorman greets me, while holding the door for me. I still remember the man that used to do this for me. And, I remember the smile, the warm in his voice, and his dirty jokes. Now I’m stuck with this. I keep telling myself that I’m going to have a heart attack if that robot one day tells me a joke, or says anything other then his usual crap. Then again he is programmed for one thing: to take a good mans job. God, I hate robots.

10:45 A.M 15 minutes ‘till lunch. I can’t wait to get away from these screens. I can’t wait to stop watching these pathetic people walk around. I used to be something. I used to be a great welder, ‘till some bastard had the great idea that a robot can do what I did better, and in less time. God, I hate robots.

1:30 P.M I see some kids push around a robot that’s picking up trash. Now we’ll just move this camera a little to the right, so these kids can be out of camera shot. Can’t be having good kids get into trouble over something that should be done more often. I hate nothing more in this world then robots.

5:00 P.M Joe is arguing with me about how I hate robots. He’s trying to point out the benefits like how amputees have robotic arms that fully function like a regular arm, instead of a prosthetic which will lie limp. I say, “Nothing wrong with technological advancements that better humans. Not take their jobs”. He doesn’t understand. Nobody understands. One day they will though. Then they will know why I hate robots.

7:00 P.M I get home. I turn on the television but don’t hear what the news reporter is saying as I walk out of the room and into the kitchen.

10:00 P.M Sleep.

6:40 A.M My Alarm goes off.

6:55 A.M I go grab the paper from my porch, and read the headline about how Dr. Frank. Nigel Stein is murdered by his own robot. A smile appears on my face. I love robots.

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